Who Is Sharpening You?

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
— Proverbs 27:17 NLT

There are friendships that simply make life more enjoyable, the people we laugh with, travel with, share meals with, celebrate milestones with, and create memories alongside. Those relationships matter, but every so often we are reminded that some friendships serve an even deeper purpose. God can use trusted friends not only to walk with us through life, but also to help shape us, challenge us, encourage us, and sometimes even help us hear Him more clearly.

We were reminded of that again this past week.

On Friday, Chris spent the day on a personal spiritual retreat, something he periodically does to step away from the normal pace of life and create intentional space to pray, reflect, listen, and seek God’s direction. During that time, one particular thought from the story of Isaiah stood out. God asked Isaiah to do something that would have seemed confusing, uncomfortable, and perhaps even illogical from a human perspective, yet the lesson was clear: there are times when God asks us to trust and obey before we fully understand what He is doing.

That thought stayed with Chris throughout the day because it connected with some of the things we have been praying through in this current season of life. There are moments when we would all prefer God to give us a complete roadmap, a clear explanation, and perhaps even a little advance confirmation that everything is going to work out exactly as we hope. More often, however, faith seems to require taking the next step with less certainty than we would probably choose for ourselves.

Not long after that retreat time, we had the opportunity to spend time with close friends and share some of what we have been processing. Because these are friends who know us well, not simply what we do but who we are, what we value, how God has worked in our lives before, and where we sometimes struggle to see clearly, they were able to offer a perspective that was different from our own. They listened, asked thoughtful questions, reminded us of things we had perhaps lost sight of, and helped us think more carefully about what God might be doing in this season.

There was nothing dramatic about the moment. There was no miraculous sign, no booming voice, and no instant answer to every question we have been asking. It was simply friends sitting together, talking honestly about life, faith, decisions, possibilities, and what it looks like to trust God when we do not yet know exactly where the road is leading. And yet, God used it.

Lisa had recently come across a K-LOVE devotional built around Proverbs 27:17 and the idea of having a spiritual “wingman.” In aviation, a wingman flies alongside another pilot and helps watch areas that are difficult for the other person to see. There is protection, awareness, trust, and a shared commitment to the mission. Spiritually, that is a pretty good picture of what some of our closest friendships can become.

We all need people in our lives who are close enough to see the things we cannot always see in ourselves. We need friends who are willing to encourage us when faith gets difficult, challenge us when our thinking becomes too narrow, remind us of God’s faithfulness when we temporarily forget, and sometimes say the thing we may not particularly want to hear but probably need to hear. We need people who know enough of our story to recognize patterns, remember previous seasons, and help us distinguish between fear, wisdom, ambition, surrender, and obedience.

That kind of friendship does not usually happen accidentally. Proverbs tells us that iron sharpens iron, and sharpening requires contact. It requires time, consistency, honesty, trust, and a willingness to allow another person close enough to influence us. Deep friendship is built through shared life, through meals and conversations, through celebrations and disappointments, through prayer, laughter, vulnerability, and simply showing up for one another over time.

One of the thoughts from the devotional that especially stayed with us was the reminder that if we want to have a wingman, we also need to be willing to become one. It is easy to ask whether we have people around us who encourage, challenge, and sharpen us, but perhaps the equally important question is whether we are doing the same for someone else.

Who has God placed around us who might need encouragement right now? Who might need someone willing to listen without immediately trying to solve the problem? Who might benefit from another person helping them remember what God has already done in their life? Who might simply need someone beside them as they try to discern what faithfulness looks like in the season they are walking through?

Who is sharpening you? And who are you sharpening?