What Lisa Sees in Me

Last week, I shared how Lisa sees things I often miss. This week, we flipped it. I asked her a simple question: “What do you see in me?”

She started listing things almost immediately. Clear-minded. Good listener. Discernment. Sees the big picture. Not afraid to make a decision.

As she was saying them, I had this quiet realization. None of it surprised me. I think I know those things about myself, at least on some level. But the way she described them was different. It gave language to things I hadn’t really stopped to define.

So I asked her to explain what she meant.

When she said “clear-minded,” she told me something that stuck. She said, “You don’t have all the noise and confusion going on in your head like I do. You can block out the noise and just get to the point.” Then she gave me an example. When we’re talking about something like starting a marriage ministry, she said she can get bogged down in the details to the point where it feels overwhelming.

“I almost freeze,” she said. “And you don’t. You see the big picture and you keep things moving.”

That one hit, because it’s true. Once I feel clear, I tend to move forward quickly. Probably quicker than she’s always ready for.

Then she talked about how I listen. She said, “You’re quiet most of the time, just listening. People probably think you’re not engaged.” And then she smiled and said, “But when you speak, it’s always something valuable.”

We used to say that years ago. When Chris speaks, people listen.

She connected that to discernment, or maybe wisdom. We weren’t entirely sure where one ends and the other begins, but what she was describing was familiar. I tend to sit with things, listen longer than most people expect, and then speak into what feels like the deeper layer of what’s actually going on.

She also said something that shows up a lot in our relationship. “You’re not afraid to make a decision.” That one made me smile a little, because if I feel like God has spoken or we’ve reached clarity, I’m usually ready to move. Sometimes quickly.

Earlier that same day, I had been journaling through a few verses about obedience and faith, about trusting God even when things don’t fully make sense. As we were talking, it clicked for me that a lot of my willingness to move comes from that place. If we’ve prayed about something and feel led, I don’t want to hesitate. I want to go.

But that also creates tension.

Because I can move faster than Lisa is ready to. And she brings something I don’t naturally carry. She slows things down. She works through the details. She helps make sure we’re actually ready for what we’re stepping into, not just excited about where we’re going.

Toward the end of the conversation, she said something that made me laugh. She said, “You also notice details I completely miss.” She gave the example of driving the same route somewhere and me pointing out something that’s been there for months that she’s never noticed.

That happens more often than we’d probably admit.

But it’s true in more important ways too. In conversations with people, especially in sessions, we’ll debrief afterward and I’ll mention something I picked up on, and she’ll say, “I didn’t even catch that.”

The more we talked, the more I realized something.

We don’t just balance each other. We actually need each other.

I bring clarity. She brings depth. I move forward. She makes sure we’re grounded.

And somewhere in the middle of that, something better gets formed than either of us could do on our own.