Good, Better, Best. Learning to Discern What Is Best

In From Success to Surrender, we describe life with God as being a little like a child invited to play freely in a backyard. The Father establishes the fence line (boundaries given for our good), but within those boundaries, there is tremendous freedom. We can run, explore, create, work, rest, and enjoy what He has given us. Every so often, though, it is as though the Father taps us on the shoulder and says, “Come with Me. I have something for you.” Maybe it is the swing set. Maybe it is the sandbox. Maybe it is something we never would have chosen on our own.

That picture came up again recently as we were talking about what it means to live the good, the better, and the best life with God. It is easy for that language to make it sound like there is one perfect destination we are supposed to discover, as though God has hidden an ideal life somewhere in the backyard and our job is to find it before we miss our chance.

But the more we talked, the more we began to see it differently.

The “best” life is not primarily about arriving at the right destination. It is about learning how to walk with God along the way.

Paul gives us one of the clearest pictures of this in Philippians 1:9–10, where he prays that believers would grow in love, knowledge, and depth of insight so they could “discern what is best.” He is describing something deeper than simply learning the difference between right and wrong. He is talking about growing in our ability to recognize what is most fitting, most faithful, and most aligned with God in a particular moment.

There are plenty of genuinely good things available to us. Good careers. Good relationships. Good ministries. Good opportunities. Good ways to use our gifts. Paul acknowledges this kind of freedom in 1 Corinthians 10:23 when he says that something may be permissible without necessarily being beneficial or constructive.

Not everything we are free to do is necessarily the thing we are being invited to do.

Sometimes the question is not, “Is this wrong?” Sometimes the better question is, “Is this where God is leading us right now?”

We see that distinction in the story of Mary and Martha. Martha was not doing something bad—she was serving. Yet Jesus said Mary had chosen what was better in that particular moment. Hebrews 12 makes a similar distinction when it tells us to throw off not only sin but also “everything that hinders.”

Some things are not sinful at all, yet they can still become weights. A commitment can be good and still become a distraction. An opportunity can be exciting and still not be ours to pursue. A fruitful season can even come to an end.

Sometimes surrender is not about walking away from something bad. Sometimes it means releasing something good because God is inviting us somewhere else.

That is why we have started thinking about the “best life” less as finding the perfect assignment and more as learning to stay in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:25 says, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

We love that picture because keeping in step is relational. It requires attention. Sometimes we move. Sometimes we wait. Sometimes we turn in a direction we did not expect. We do not have to know the entire route.

We simply need to stay close to the One who does.

This has become especially meaningful as we think about the second half of life and what calling and purpose look like in different seasons. It is easy to associate God’s “best” with dramatic assignments, visible ministry, or clearly defined callings. But Scripture keeps pulling us back to something simpler.

God’s best is not primarily about visibility. It is about intimacy, obedience, and faithfulness.

A pastor’s calling is not higher than the calling of a spouse loving well, a parent raising children faithfully, a business leader caring for employees, a neighbor showing compassion, or someone simply encouraging the person God placed in front of them.

Different terrain. Different assignments… Same Father. Same invitation: walk with Me.

There are still times when we would love for God to hand us the complete map—the next assignment, the timing, and the outcome. But often He gives us enough light only for the next step.

Maybe part of the journey is learning to depend less on knowing the destination and more on knowing the Father.

So perhaps the question is not, “Have we found God’s best life?” Maybe the better question is whether we are learning to discern what is best today—staying close enough to notice when He redirects us, willing to release even good things when they begin to hinder us, and faithful with what is already in front of us.

What is God inviting you to discern as best today?