When Peace Becomes Part of the Answer

There are times when discernment becomes less about finding more information and more about paying attention to what God may already be revealing.

Recently, we were processing a significant opportunity and trying to determine whether it was something we were supposed to pursue. We had already spent time praying, reflecting, and seeking wise counsel, but what became most noticeable was not a lack of information. It was a lack of peace.

On Monday, we had a conversation connected to the opportunity, and almost immediately afterward, neither of us had peace about moving forward. There were certainly things about the opportunity that were attractive, and we knew from the beginning that saying yes would require some sacrifice. But sacrifice itself wasn’t necessarily what was holding us back. We’ve learned through the years that following God sometimes does require sacrifice, discomfort, or stepping into something we would not have naturally chosen for ourselves.

The issue was simpler than that. We just couldn’t find peace.

Over the next 24 hours, we continued praying both individually and together, talking through the opportunity and trying to discern whether our hesitation was simply fear, discomfort, or something we needed to pay closer attention to. One of the passages that kept coming to mind was Galatians 5, where Paul describes the fruit of the Spirit as “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” We certainly don’t believe that every decision from God will feel easy or comfortable, but we have learned to pay attention when peace seems noticeably absent, particularly when we are making a significant decision and have genuinely spent time seeking God.

That has become especially important in our marriage. Over the years, we have developed an expectation that when we are making major decisions, particularly decisions that affect both of us, we should eventually be able to reach a place of unity. That does not mean we always begin in the same place or immediately see things the same way. The goal isn’t instant agreement; the goal is to keep praying, talking, listening, and seeking God until we believe we are moving forward together.

In this situation, after about a day of continuing to pray and process, we still could not get to a place of peace about saying yes. So we made the decision to step away from the opportunity.

What happened next was interesting… Almost immediately, there was peace.

The circumstances hadn’t suddenly changed. We didn’t receive some new piece of information that made the decision obvious, nor could we explain every reason why stepping away was the right choice. We simply knew that after being unable to find peace about moving forward, there was a surprising sense of peace once the decision had been made.

Scripture describes a “peace of God, which transcends all understanding” in Philippians 4:7. We have experienced moments where that description feels particularly appropriate because sometimes the peace God gives doesn’t necessarily correspond with what appears most logical on paper. There are times when an option may look good, make financial sense, create opportunity, or seem like the direction we ought to take, yet something within us remains unsettled.

That doesn’t mean every uncomfortable feeling is a message from God. Fear can make us uncomfortable. Change can make us uncomfortable. Growth can make us uncomfortable. Difficult obedience can certainly make us uncomfortable. Biblical discernment requires more than simply asking, “Do I feel good about this?”

For us, peace becomes meaningful within a larger process of discernment: prayer, Scripture, wise counsel, honest conversation, and a willingness to surrender the outcome we may personally prefer. When those things are present, we have learned not to dismiss the absence—or presence—of peace too quickly.

We’ve also discovered that we don’t always need to understand every detail in order to help one another discern. There have been plenty of decisions where one of us knows far more about the circumstances than the other, particularly with business or ministry decisions. Yet the person who knows fewer details may actually bring a perspective the other cannot see because they aren’t as emotionally invested in the outcome.

That is one reason we have learned to take each other’s sense of peace seriously. If one of us believes God is leading in a particular direction but the other simply cannot get there, we have learned to treat that as a caution flag rather than an obstacle to overcome.

Maybe there is more to pray through. Maybe there is something we haven’t considered. Maybe the timing isn’t right. Or perhaps God, through His Spirit, is simply asking us to wait.

Whatever decision you may be facing today, perhaps one question is worth adding to the process:

Do I have peace?

And if the decision affects those closest to you:

Do we have peace together?